There's a great episode of Seinfield where George has to prove he's not a racist. Some of his co-workers at the NY Yankees seem to be wondering.To ward off the allegations, George pays his pest exterminator (the only black man he knows outside of work) to go to lunch with him.
It's pretty ridiculous and not very realistic, but I think it reveals an instinct a lot of us have in regards to people or things we aren't (a) comfortable with, or (b) simply have no experience with.
Most of us spend much of our lives in desperate efforts toward self-vindication.
I've known my company's plummer for several years now, and we've always gotten along well. He's in his early fifties, cheery, talkative, with a macho-trucker-in-flannel kind of appearance.
It was a year ago that I found out he was gay. I was so surprised to discover it because he fit none of the stereotypes I'd collected over my lifetime - he seems straighter than I do!
I went out to have a couple of beers with Alan the other night. We'd been having casual conversations about Christianity and homosexuality for several weeks, and it took me most of that time to convince him that he could trust me. He's always liked me, but the "Christian thing" seemed to sit on the back shelf for awhile - an uncomfortable subject he'd rather avoid.
Finally I asked him: "Alan, what's your experience with the Church, as a gay man?"
"Oh boy - that's a can of worms you don't want to open," he laughed sadly. I assured him that I did, and that I was sure he'd been treated badly and was desperately sorry for it.
We finally met at an brewpub in Corvallis, and over the evening's discourse he laid out in detail his frustrations and wounds from the Christian Church.
At the end of the evening, he asked, "Are you going to write about this?"
I said, "Not a lot. I think what I'm going to write about is the idea of having a gay friend to clear oneself of bigotry. You know? Like on Seinfield, when George tries to prove he's not racist by going to lunch with a black man?"
Alan chuckled. "I actually wondered about that when you asked me to have drinks. I didn't really think it was true, but it crossed my mind."
It still crosses my mind. Not as a sin I have actually committed - I wanted to spend time with Alan, I like him - but as an instinct that I confess exists in my heart.
Will & Grace exploits gays for comedy. Most of us exploit them for self-vindication.
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please read more about my thoughts on the evolution of Christianity at http://emergingchristianity.blogspot.com
