Nascent Radical Extremism?

I had a disturbing conversation with an old friend last night.

Carl and I sat at McMennamin’s brewpub sipping ruby ale, reconnecting after little recent contact. He had a sort of glow about him, and looked healthier (and happier) than I remembered.

“My life is so good right now,” he said. “I have everything I could ever want, I only work four to six hours a day, I don’t own a car or have any expenses. I’m free, and I'm blessed!”

I genuinely envied the satisfied simplicity he was describing.

He continued, “But I’m almost thirty, you know? And I’ve already lived a more blessed life than most of the people in this world. And I’ve been thinking a lot about God lately…” Carl had never been overtly religious.

“… and I realize I have to do something that matters with my life. I can’t just get old and fat, enjoying what I’ve been given…”

He then proceeded to lament the world’s evils – particularly “evil men,” and the violence they commit against women and children in the world. He said he was going to do something about it. That he was ready to die if he had to, “to do something that matters.” He would personally give his life to “stop evil men.”

It occurred to me that he’d been hinting at something that had snuck up without my initial notice. I asked, “Bro, you’re not saying you’re willing to kill, are you?”

Without hesitating he smiled and nodded, then, “Here’s my plan: in the next couple of years I’m going to save up enough money to go somewhere – like South America or Africa, Darfur, you know – and just look for people who need protection. Maybe I’ll go to a well and watch as women come for water. And if anyone messes with them or tries to hurt them, I’ll stop it. And people will see, and they’ll tell other people, and they’ll come after me…” it was like listening to a Hollywood movie synopsis. He wanted to be a vigilante. No – he kept talking about dying. Carl wanted to be a martyr.

“All right. I understand the desire to fight for good. But tell me, what makes your plans different from those of an Islamic Terrorist?” I asked.

“They kill civilians. And they have an agenda. I just want to stop evil people, and hopefully protect good people.”

I pressed, “But how can you judge who is evil and who deserves to die?”

“Well,” he answered, “I’ll watch and wait till they attempt an evil act. Then I’ll stop them. And you know, if you’ve got God on your side, you’re going to be covered. Because God is good, and if you're doing good, you're with God. You know, righteousness.” Again, his newfound spirituality was surprising, and disconcerting in this context.

We went back and forth: me pressing him for justification and context, Carl self-assuredly responding with talk of holiness, justice and clear-cut language about good and evil men.

I never overtly condemned his plans. There was no point. He would have turned off the dialogue. I only hoped to dent his worldview and raise enough questions to erode some of his "moral" foundations.

Is this what a militant Christian zealot looks like here in suburban America? Can it come from such benign surroundings and sheltered lives (I’ve known Carl since high school)?

In The Lion’s Pride, Leonard Sweet writes:
“Men and women of faith have mindlessly bought into a system in which it is morally right to threaten to do something immoral.” (pg. 27)

17th Century Theologian Jeremy Taylor wrote:
“But when a man does evil that good may come of it, or good to an evil purpose, that man does like him that rolls himself in thorns that he may sleep easily; he roasts himself in the fire…”

I don’t know if Carl is really capable of doing the things he says. He’s always been a philosophical eccentric. But he’s serious enough to say these things seriously.

We ended the evening with a hug. I told him, "I love you," and I meant it.


please read more about my thoughts on the evolution of Christianity at www.emergingchristianity.blogspot.com

Out of the Ooze!

Well, it took a few years, but my writing has finally made it past magazine confines, into a genuine book!

Conceptualized, organized and edited by Spencer Burke, Out of the OOZE is a collection of writings, rants and parables about being Christian and wrestling with "the church" amidst new paradigms - from new vantages.

From Amazon.com:
"TheOoze.com is an online collective of believers who feel disconnected from the mainstream church. Through articles and message boards, the site offers a public forum to honestly discuss faith, culture, and ministry. Site founder Spencer Burke hosts a journey through compelling stories that highlight the hopes and struggles of a new generation. Readers will encounter fresh perspectives and inspiration to pursue an authentic walk with Christ."

If you spend much time reading my blogs, you'll recognize much of the chapter I wrote from an old post here: "Cultural Refugees in Gay Nightclubs." The chapter is basically just that - a blog post converted into an article for theOOZE - then converted into a chapter for the book. It makes me feel awkward, because the writing is far more casual (even a little sloppy) than I would have hoped for my first publication. I pray NavPress doesn't hold it against me as they evaluate my worldspeak manuscript.

Anyway, pick up the book at Borders, your local bookstore or at Amazon.com! (please: just don't judge my writing entirely by that one little piece)


please read more about my thoughts on the evolution of Christianity at www.emergingchristianity.blogspot.com/

"Reaching Out" - or into loneliness

I've been reading Henri Nouwen's Reaching Out over the last week or so and it's been impacting me deeply.

I feel like I have been lonely for as long as I can remember. There have been moments thick with the physical presence of friends & family. And there were times where I managed to gain enough attention or popularity to almost muffle the pangs of isolation in my gut. I used to think of those “distracted” periods as high points – when I’d achieved the connectedness I craved. I’m realizing more and more that the times of greatest singular loneliness in life were also the times where God’s hand pressed heaviest on my heart.

However, until Nouwen’s Reaching Out, I don’t think I have encountered any voice (pastor, friend or counselor) telling me that this aching was natural, necessary & right. I’m an American Evangelical! If something doesn’t feel good, it must be wrong! Reaching Out has really begun to play a connecting role in matching my awareness of God’s presence in the “dark” to Nouwen’s assertion that loneliness is not only obligatory, but indispensable.

Nouwen says that without “solitude of the heart,” we are not even capable of loving people in the way they deserve to be loved. After reading the first three chapters I went & told my wife that I wanted to love her because she deserves my love – because she exists.

I confessed that most of my love for her is twisted & compromised of what I think I need from her, & what I want to get out of her. She said, “I think most of us love that way.” I said, “But wouldn’t it be incredible if we could let go of all that & love each other entirely for who the other is?” I was "lucky" enough to be unlucky in love till my twenties, so growing up I didn’t have romance to hide in. Married now, I have quickly learned how to look to my wife to hide from myself, my loneliness, and God residing in the midst of that dreaded isolation.

Slowly, I'm trying to train myself to stop running from the loneliness. Inside the aching, the silence, the singular awareness of one's own disconnected (in some ways) reality, there is a voice of Truth who is whispering identity, purpose and love at the core of our being. I want to listen for that voice...


please read more about my thoughts on the evolution of Christianity at http://emergingchristianity.blogspot.com

Denying the Holy Spirit...

I talked with a woman today who had visited my little "soulcafe" church once, but didn't return because it wasn't right for her.

"They were sweet people," she explained, "but I need to be in a place where they are living out the gifts of the spirit."

I said, "hold on, they are functioning in the gifts of the spirit. Those women are volunteering at the hospital, cooking dinners for their neighbors, and I've never seen a group that prays so much."

She said, "yes," but no one there could lay "annointed hands" on her if she was sick, or to pray over her in tongues when she needed strength. She needed her needs met at whatever cost.

I suggested, humbly, that I had left my last church because I felt they had turned God into a gift-dispenser. I said that I didn't speak in tongues because I had watched too many young people in the youth group admit to "faking it" simply because it was the expectation. I didn't want to be a part of that, so I spent my prayer time in quietness before the Lord.

She told me I was denying the Holy Spirit because I didn't speak in tongues.

I said I revered the Holy Spirit too much to play games with it.

It was an awkward conversation. She smiled a huge grin the entire time, but I felt her hating me from behind her eyes, somehow.


...please read more about my thoughts on the evolution of Christianity at http://www.emergingchristianity.blogspot.com/

Drunk? Or Mistaken...

A man is stumbling through the woods totally drunk when he comes upon a preacher baptizing people in the river. The drunk walks into the water and subsequently bumps into the preacher.

The preacher turns around and is almost overcome by the smell of booze. He asks the drunk, "Are you ready to find Jesus?"

"Yes I am" replies the drunk, so the preacher grabs him and dunks him in the river.

He pulls him up and asks the drunk, "Brother have you found Jesus?"

The drunk replies, "No!"

Shocked at the answer, the preacher dunks him into the water again, but for a bit longer this time. He pulls him out of the water and asks again, "Have you found Jesus, my brother?"

The drunk again answers, "No, I have not found Jesus."

By this time the preacher is at his wits end so he dunks the drunk in the water again, but this time he holds him down for about 30 seconds. When the drunk begins kicking his arms and legs, the preacher pulls him up. The preacher asks the drunk again, "For the love of God, have you found Jesus?"

The drunk wipes his eyes and catches his breath and says to the preacher, "Are you sure this is where he fell in?"

~

We're asking the wrong questions.

We're torturing people, holding them underwater, because they don't speak our language.

~

...please read more about my thoughts on the evolution of Christianity at http://www.emergingchristianity.blogspot.com/